Friday, April 16, 2010

Flashback: Going through hell

A favorite saying of ours goes like this: "When you're going through hell, keep going." I always thought I'd be married to one woman forever. I had a house. A job. A steady relationship designed to last a lifetime. Life, though, throws curveballs. My wife, Tina, suffered through a devastating illness, diabetes complicated by autoimmune inner ear disease, and in September of 2007, at age 48, she died. Suddenly I was alone. I grieved. I was under a cloud for a long, long time. I went to therapy (paid for by my work) and read all sorts of books that said grieve fully. Don't delay it. Don't postpone it. They also warned about getting stuck in 2007. Today, if she were alive, my wife would be honored, even though her halo was somewhat tarnished, that I thought so highly of her this many years later. Then she would say, in her bull in the china shop sort of way, "Move on. Honor me by living a rich, rewarding life. Take the initiative. Don't wait for someone to rescue you. And for God sakes, get off the pity potty. Get out there and live."


  1. What a wonderful tribute to your late wife. I am sure that she - as well as Teri's late mom - are your guardian angels and perhaps even had a hand in getting you and Teri together. You embraced your grief and came out the other side and now you are embracing your joy with Ms. Teri. I love your blog!

  2. I think you captured Tina perfectly from what I had always heard about her. I'm so proud of you and all that you worked through during that time. You worked hard and were rewarded with another beautiful although very different lady to be your life partner. You and Teri have a fairy tale romance that I see lasting forever because you are both just so darn nice and thoughtful and darling....I love you both so much....signed Mrs. Mentor