Friday, April 16, 2010
Flashback: Going through hell
A favorite saying of ours goes like this: "When you're going through hell, keep going." I always thought I'd be married to one woman forever. I had a house. A job. A steady relationship designed to last a lifetime. Life, though, throws curveballs. My wife, Tina, suffered through a devastating illness, diabetes complicated by autoimmune inner ear disease, and in September of 2007, at age 48, she died. Suddenly I was alone. I grieved. I was under a cloud for a long, long time. I went to therapy (paid for by my work) and read all sorts of books that said grieve fully. Don't delay it. Don't postpone it. They also warned about getting stuck in 2007. Today, if she were alive, my wife would be honored, even though her halo was somewhat tarnished, that I thought so highly of her this many years later. Then she would say, in her bull in the china shop sort of way, "Move on. Honor me by living a rich, rewarding life. Take the initiative. Don't wait for someone to rescue you. And for God sakes, get off the pity potty. Get out there and live."