Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Flashback to Cupid
After my wife Tina's untimely death at age 48 from complications of diabetes, I spent a year wondering if I'd ever feel normal again. Things that concerned other people -- restaurant service, lousy drivers, yo-yoing stocks -- didn't matter to me. The books advised me to make sure I grieved fully, and not to look for a relationship while I was still on the rebound. There is no correct timing. But I waited a year just the same before I even thought about dating. Well, I did think about it a little, as in planning for how I would approach a relationship differently, what worked with Tina, what didn't. I was not a bar hound. A church goer. A club member or back-slapping socializer. And I really didn't want a work relationship. That is how Tina and I met, but I wanted something totally different this time. Then a co-worker advised me to try Yahoo.com personals. It was totally out of my comfort zone. It was like nothing I had ever done before. It sounded like a great adventure. What did I have to lose? My Cupid assured me I could do it and it would work. If the other person was telling the truth on their profile, I could learn a lot about them before I even asked for a first date. I could decide, rather scientifically, if we had enough in common to make a relationship work. It sounded scary. It sounded promising. In late September 2008 I signed up for a half-year's subscription. It turned out to be the best thing I ever did. Pure luck, sure. But I was due.