Sunday, December 12, 2010

Shared vocabulary

Teri and I are getting a head start in learning the vocabulary of marriage. Sure, we won't tie the knot for 10 more months. But we are already trying to learn to say not your house or my house but our beach condo and our mountain cabin. Habits die hard. Each time we bet a dinner out on who will slip up first. It focuses the mind. The thought of pulling out that Visa card grabs the attention and then some.

We also have a bet on who will remember to say happy anniversary first on the 12th and 26th when we celebrate, respectively, our first connection by e-mail and our first date. This also focuses the mind. Lots of times I will have good intentions. I will remember the anniversary several days before and send Teri a colorful bouquet of flowers, on the 12th anyway. That's my routine. The night before I will remember the anniversary and be ready to do the right thing, first thing in the morning. The next morning, though, the actual date of the anniversary, my mind will be on completing my exercise routine, a storm moving in, finishing out shopping for the Christmas list, catching up on Facebook, finishing the laundry, any number of things. Teri will beat me to the punch. Now, with the new bet in place, I have extra incentive to remember our anniversaries.

Even after marriage, we may go several years before we live together full time. That's not ideal. But we're OK with that if that is necessary, thanks to job and family obligations. We are just glad to share what time we can, and also to promote a vocabulary of sharing.

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