Email Bloopers

Today I accidentally sent an email designed for a former coworker to Teri instead. I am happy to announce that I wouldn't mind if Teri read everything I wrote, even if that would most likely cure any insomnia issues she might have. It's good to not have secrets, and to not have secret agendas. It's good not to be on whispering campaigns, to tell one person one thing and another person something entirely different. I hope that anything I say, living most of the time 90 miles apart with different sets of coworkers and friends, will be suitable for Teri to hear, and anything I write will be suitable for Teri to read.

Of course, there are a couple of moments when the cats misbehaved that I'm glad Teri was not on hand to witness my temper. Otherwise, I would be happy to share the movie of our time apart with Teri. Of course, she may find it to be a snoozer, but an honest snoozer, at least.

You Can Bank On It

Here's a test for newlyweds. Join finances. Teri and I are in the process of combining our checking accounts. Now we will be able to track our every financial move, however modest. I want us to be able to combine resources while at the same time not having our styles cramped. We need to have a family meeting if we want to make any purchases of more than $100. Sure, we have to maintain two homes, and that is a major expense. But I think that by combining resources we will have more spending power — and more peace of mind.

Comfort food

Teri was feeling sub-par Sunday, but that didn't stop her from making a fabulous marionberry cobbler. Now that's comfort food.

The Power of the Wind

Yesterday the wind was howling. We were pretty much held prisoner in our own home. Go outside and you risked being skewered by sticks, sheet metal and other flying debris. Cats, dogs and small children were at risk from tumbling away from bus stops and front porches. We could have gone for our normal power walk, and felt the power of the wind, but at the cost of being miserable and having our hair separated forcefully from our head. Instead, we sat home and started a movie marathon and had an Idaho Potato Pancake Festival thanks to a Christmas gift from our niece, Natalie, who lives in the state capital, Boise.

What could have been a boring day turned out to be a lot of fun thanks to my creative wife. Her percolating mind never fails to pleasantly surprise me.

I hope at some point we can take a walk in the wind, to soak in the power of Mother Nature. The after-dinner walk is an important part of a good Groundhog Day. Yet we have to know when it is time to go to Plan B, and yesterday was one of those days. Plan A got blown to Idaho. No Problem. Unless Plan B involves B movies.

Shop Til You Drop ... Five Pounds

Going grocery shopping together is a gas. I sprint around the exterior of the grocery store like my pants are on fire. Teri lingers. I grab and go. Teri compares product. If there is a stack of five items, she looks at each one to determine that none is defective and which is the best quality.

Despite our differences in technique, when we get to the checkout line it is hoped we would come away with similar products. As the "Younger Next Year" authors say, good nutrition starts in the supermarket, not in the kitchen." I worship at the Younger Next Year shrine, Teri not so much. Either way, we both try to follow Dr. Henry S. Lodge's fifth rule, which is "Quit eating crap."

The reason we do it is so we can have many happy and healthy years together. If broccoli turns out to be our comfort food, so be it.

Of butterflies and blue herons

A big snowstorm is expected over the weekend. Mother Nature is winding up to give us a roundhouse punch to the right temple. It may be her last blast before spring begins to show itself with crocuses and daffodils popping up through the mud. There are no guarantees. And the calendar is mostly a suggestion, not a rule. But the season of butterflies and blue herons is not far away, and both are extremely meaningful to our relationship.

Butterflies give us Helen blessings. Teri's mom was a big fan of the swallowtail butterfly, and when we see one we consider it to be Helen letting us know that we are on the right path. Seems strange. But it works. Last July, just as I began the 18-mile ascent of Beartooth Pass in Montana by bicycle, I encountered a swallowtail that seemed to tell me you trained for this, you prepared for this, you can do it and this is the place you need to be.

Blue herons are important to us too. On our very first river walk, at Pendleton along the Umatilla, on our first date, a blue heron carved a perfect circle in the sky above us. It seemed to sanctify our relationship, to tell us we were right for each other, to take the chance and see where this great adventure might take us. Ever since we have been on the lookout for other blue herons. Each time we see one it is a blessing on the relationship and tells us we are on the right path.

Emotional Resilience

I am currently reading Dr. Andrew Weil's book "Spontaneous Happiness." The main purpose is so that I can maintain equilibrium and not often bring work problems home to Teri. Of course, we don't mind providing other counsel. But I don't want to bring up the same problems over and over again if there is no real solution. When my head starts to spin with unresolvable problems, I want to have techniques ready at hand to get off the mental merry-go-round.

As long as we have to work, there will be problems. In fact, as long as we live there will be problems and we will be searching for solutions. The important thing is we be satisfied with where we are, but also be open to better ways of doing things should we discover them in the future.

For now, retirement is not an option. And we have to face a hard fact: not all co-workers will be universally pleasant. Some co-workers may even try to deliberately sabotage our peace of mind. They may not be on the same wave length when it comes to standards of excellence and what is necessary to achieve a quality product. No matter. The important thing is we find ways not to recycle negativity but to break free of it as quickly as possible and return to our optimistic emotional set-points.

Easier said than done. Dr. Weil, though, has some excellent advice on meditation techniques involving breathing and mantras that could work to make this process go more smoothly, and for that Teri and I both can be thankful.