Be happy

Some people wait until the economy is just right to be happy. They think when they get the big promotion at work, the big house, the fancy new car, lose 20 pounds, adopt the Siberian tiger for a pet -- then they'll be happy.

Happiness, though, is not a destination. It's a way of life. If Teri and I waited for things to be just perfect before we got married, we might wait forever. We live 90 miles apart. The gas price has risen to $3.05 a gallon. The economy is in the toilet. The house market is reeling. No matter. As Abraham Lincoln said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." And as elaborate surveys say, above the poverty level, happiness is not dependent on more money.

Of course, we'd love a big house, all paid for, that we could live in together. But because we are contrarians we can enjoy the challenges thrust upon us. Even after we get married, on 9-10-11, we may be forced to live a nontraditional life. We will make the best of each day. We will know that each problem implies a solution.

Both of us survived layoffs from great jobs, and landed on our feet, me through moving 2,000 miles from a dream house in Wisconsin back to our beloved Oregon, Teri from going back to school and retraining to become a graphic designer, a job she loves. Both of us survived devastating losses of family members -- my dad, her mom. Both of us survived health crises.

We know that no matter what life throws at us, we can survive and thrive. Everything happens for a reason, and that is to make us stronger. If we step through whatever windows of opportunity open, we will be fine.

Swallowtail blessings

When Teri's mom, Helen, died of leukemia in 2003, it was an extremely difficult time. Among other things, Teri adopted the swallowtail, Oregon's state butterfly, as a symbol of her mom still being around and watching over things. It was reassuring to see these graceful butterflies and know deep in her heart that her mom was nearby and proud of what she was accomplishing.

Since meeting Teri, I, too, have adopted the swallowtail and seek out Helen's blessings. Swallowtails, like Santa Claus, seem to know when I've been good or bad. Now when I go for a lunchtime walk at work, or on one of my four times a week aerobic bike rides, I sometimes see swallowtails and think of Helen giving a thumb's-up or a blessing for that activity. The graceful swallowtails never seem to appear when I am eating ice cream right out of the container, or downing a whole order of starchy, salty fries. The swallowtails never appear when I am munching an apple fritter or contemplating mayhem on another driver who has cut me off in traffic.

Now when I go out for an aerobic bike ride, or when Teri and I go for walks or bike rides together, we keep an eye peeled for a swallowtail flitting from flower to flower or tree to tree. They are magnificent fliers. As Teri does, they love color. They love darting to and fro on the summer breezes.

And when I hold a door open for a stranger, or say hello just because, and a butterfly cruises past right there and then, I think of Helen and feel she is blessing our relationship. She is telling me "Well done, young man," and "Take good care of my Teri." The swallowtail is just one more element that makes our relationship stronger.

Blue heron revisited

2010 has been the year of the heron, at least in the Cove area. Persistent spring rains brought widespread flooding in the bottomland along Catherine Creek. Remnants of the flooding remained all the way through July. And the flooded farm fields attracted many blue herons. The heron became an important bird in our relationship on our first date, which included the Pendleton river walk. As we strolled along the Umatilla River, we looked up, as Teri is wont to do. Being a big fan of sunrises and sunsets, she is also a sky watcher, and this time was rewarded in a big way when a magnificent heron flew a perfect circle over our heads and then continued on his adventures. We were awestruck. We took the sighting as a good omen for the future of our relationship, as a blessing from on high.

More positive energy comes from this summer's nearly daily interaction with blue herons along my drive to work. On one magical day, I spotted 19 blue herons. That included one group of 13, a lucky number for us contrarians, taking off into the brilliant morning sky.

Even more positive energy came from a closeup spotting of a heron on my April vacation to the westside of Washington. My mom and I were hiking the trails at the Nisqually Nature Preserve near Olympia, and I came across a blue heron totally entranced with fishing opportunities and unaware of my presence. Usually, blue herons are extremely shy. I took the opportunity and got a spectacular closeup photograph that even includes the heron's top knot shadowed on its back.

Blue herons inspire dreams, promote creativity, instill energy. They give our relationship the Power of Blue.

Oz 7 and Tea Time

Teri and I are both big fans of Dr. Oz, the medicine man. One day on his TV show he was talking about his own daily routine of seven minutes of stretching to start the day. Teri took note and suggested it might be something we'd like to try, on our own and as a couple. It turned out to be a great way to set the tone for the day, and now has become a part of our Groundhog Day. Having experienced a 24-year marriage, I know that the days can start to all blend together, so why not come up with a healthy, positive "rut," one that automatically builds the relationship day after day?

The Oz 7 and now Tea Time with Teri serves as bookends on the day. Tea is relaxing and contributes to good health. When we are living apart, I try to call Teri each evening about 9 so we can stay in touch and build the relationship. At the same time I try to have several cups of tea to start winding down on the day. When we are together, on weekends and during vacations, we get to do the Oz 7 and have Tea Time together.

Both Oz 7 and Tea Time are works in progress. We are still incorporating them into what is evolving into, slowly but surely, a great Groundhog Day.

Someday Oz 7 and Tea Time could be as much a part of our day as enjoying the sunrise and the sunset.

Happy Anniversary Baby.....

This is the anniversary of the day we met face-to-face. That day was October 26, 2008. Twenty-one months ago. What a great day that was. Did we know that would actually be the start of our new life together... maybe we did, who really knows. It seemed to be just that.

Nearly two years together, so far....
....and our wedding is less than 14 months away.

What I've done on my "summer vacation", so far.

Well, as you can see, we all know who the writer/journal keeper is in our "family"... ah, that would be and is Jeff. I have good intentions, yet just don't seem to keep up too well.

A lot of gatherings, events, mini-vacations have taken place since I last posted. I'd like to think that was in MAY, but I have found out it was in late APRIL.

Well, since then, we've celebrated Jeff's birthday with a family dinner at a local restaurant and a trip for us to Hood River for a photo shoot and exploration. We had great weather, discovered some micro-brews at Full Sail and Big Horse Brew Pubs. We thoroughly enjoyed the area. A place we'll visit again.

We celebrated Father's Day with my Dad in grand style. We made him breakfast, took him to a movie and later had a wonderful strawberry shortcake with homemade biscuits like my Mom made and fresh strawberries. YUM.... OMG were we full!!!

We took a bike trip... loaded up the bikes and headed to a nearby town to ride on their river path.

We attended a high school graduation where my Dad awards a scholarship in memory of Mom. Later that day, we were guests at a beautiful garden wedding. Yes, we took notes, besides had a great time.

We again took a mini-vacation to the Columbia River Gorge... Yes, I'll post a few photos... that's what this is for, right. See... I did post a photo.... :)

I finally got to go spend a few days with Jeff at his home in Cove. What a retreat. That was the 4th of July weekend. Can you say BBQ... each evening meal was cooked over the coals. YUM... the leftovers were great too. That very weekend we got the news we were hoping and praying for. My nieces husband, yes, my nephew, arrived home from a one-year tour of duty in Afghanistan. Talk about a great day to come HOME! We heard their 2-year-old daughter follows him around a lot... even to the bathroom door. "Daddy, are you in there?" She just does not want him to get away.

Last weekend, we went to Athena to take in the sights and sounds of the Caledonian Games, a very Scottish celebration. Both Jeff and I are of some Scottish ancestry which made it all the more fun. While in the park enjoying the shade we saw my cousin walking through to go assist his wife with some tasks related to the celebration. We stopped him...and was greeted in his usual manner... a joyous smile and a big warm hug. I had the pleasure of introducing Jeff to Delbert and Kayla... two of my favorite people, three including Jeff of course. We asked to meet them at their church later. You see, Delbert is a minister, besides being a wonderful man and an oh-so-terrific cousin. They showed us the church and the amenities and we asked Delbert if he officiate our wedding... and the steps it would take for us to make this happen. With formalities out of the way, we commenced to having a most enjoyable and fun visit, but that's how it is with wonderful people who just happen to be family. Jeff had just met Delbert and Kayla and felt right at home.

Celebrating Pre-Anniversaries

We may not be wealthy people, except in spirit, but each day we celebrate the spirit of abundance. That may explain all the various special days we celebrate. That and making up for a half century of lost time it took us to meet each other. Sure, we enjoyed those 50 years. We had many wonderful experiences, learned a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot. But knowing at best we will only be together for 30 or 40 years, if health blesses us richly, as a couple we need to make each day, each month, each year count.

We celebrate the day Teri responded by e-mail to my first wink (the 12th), the day of our first (10 hour) date (the 26th) and now also the 10th. That's our Pre-Anniversary. At this writing, we are 14 months away from the wedding day. What makes the July 10, 2010, Pre-Anniversary celebration more special is that we met with Teri's cousin, Delbert, and tentatively chose a wedding venue, the church where he preaches in Athena, a small town named for the Goddess of Nearly Everything. I'm especially excited, as a person dedicated to lifelong learning, about Delbert's requirement of six pre-marital counseling sessions. We both enjoy his company. We'll be entertained as well as enlightened. We have done a good job already establishing a family meeting structure where we can talk about anything and everything, especially the tough issues, and come up with satisfactory compromises. We also are realistic enough at this late stage to know puppy love and a crush from a deeper form of love, and we also know that our relationship needs constant nurturing and will continue to evolve. But an objective outside voice of wisdom can help supply other building blocks for a foundation that will make the marriage more storm proof.